Say Something

by Marla Swartz, March, 1998

Jess Knowland glanced up from the book she was reading and turned to look out the library window. It looked clear out, she could see the sky at least, but since she hadn't been outside all day the weather was a mystery. Jess pressed her palm to her temple. This was too hard. Too much. It had all gotten out of hand. It was all moving too fast. What was she going to do? The words had begun to swirl in front of her tired eyes: Tinker, Hazelwood, freedom, racism, representation, school press. It was all such a big blur.

"I wish I could find the answer," Jess mumbled to herself as she continued flipping through the musty law books. There was no way these books had been opened in years. Who reads Supreme Court cases in the Lakeside High School library? They probably stopped offering the mythical Civil Liberties class somewhere near the end of Vietnam.

The sound of the band marching by the library window snapped Jess out of her reverie. Interrupted by the brass horns, she decided to pack her books up for the day and head for home. She'd promised her mom she would try to make it home for dinner anyway. In return, her mom had sworn not to mention the case at all.

Jess already knew what her parents thought. They'd support her forever, she knew that. But when push came to shove, Jess also knew they just wished life would get back to normal. No more late nights at the library, no more tense meetings with Ms. Wagner the principal, and no more late night tears of frustration. They just wanted things to get back to the way they were before...

They didn't get it. They tried but they never quite understood. Jess wanted things to get back to normal too, but she also knew they never could...things would never be the way they were before. They'd gone too far.

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